How to Help Your Neurodiverse Child’s Transition to Secondary School

Understanding Why the Transition to Secondary School Feels So Hard

Growing up as a neurodivergent child with ADHD and autism, moving to secondary school was the hardest transition for me. It was loud, crowded, and unfamiliar. Every day felt like sensory overload, and I often had to hide in the toilets or library to take a break from it all. Masking to get through the day was tiring, and at the time, I thought I was the only one who felt that way.

Many neurodiverse children experience similar struggles when starting secondary school:

New environment and unfamiliar buildings
Change in daily routine
Larger school with more movement and noise
Different teachers and classmates
Sensory overload from crowds, lights, and sounds
Difficulty making new friends
Too much new information to process at once

Recognising these challenges is the first step to supporting your child effectively.

Practical Tips to Support Your Child’s Transition

Here are strategies that have helped both me and my neurodiverse students settle into secondary school life.

1. Establish a Predictable Routine

Structure brings comfort. Keep morning and evening routines consistent, and discuss the next day’s plan together.

Why routines help:

Reduce anxiety about the unknown
Provide a sense of control and predictability
Help autistic children feel secure
Support ADHD learners with time management

2. Use Visual Supports

Visual aids can make a huge difference for neurodiverse learners:

Print and colour-code the school timetable
Highlight key subjects or teachers in different colours
Print a school map so your child can visualise where to go
Practise the school route a few times to build confidence

Young Minds also has free resources on their website that can help you support your child’s mental health during school transitions.

3. Communicate with School Staff

Encourage your child to talk to their form tutor, SENCO, or pastoral lead. Letting staff know what helps — such as needing quiet spaces or sensory breaks — ensures your child feels supported and understood.

What to discuss with school:

Your child’s specific neurodiverse needs (autism, ADHD, dyslexia, etc.)
Strategies that work at home
Request for reasonable adjustments (extra time, quiet spaces, visual supports)
Regular check-ins to monitor progress

For more information on SEND support in schools, visit the Department for Education SEND guidance.

4. Make Home a Safe Space

School can be overwhelming, so home should be the place to unwind, decompress, and recharge. Allow your child to stim, take breaks, or sit in whatever position feels most comfortable.

Creating a safe home environment:

Designate a quiet, calm space for decompression
Allow sensory regulation activities (fidget toys, weighted blankets)
Don’t force immediate conversation after school
Respect their need for downtime

For example, one of my autistic students prefers to sit on the floor in a quiet space whilst learning. At school, with 1,500 students, that’s hard to do. But when I have my tuition sessions with her, I give her that freedom. Creating this comfort helps her learn and self-regulate better. It makes her feel calm, and she can stim without judgment.

5. Encourage Confidence and Celebrate Progress

Building confidence is key to helping your neurodiverse child thrive at secondary school:

Use positive language when talking about school
Offer praise and encouragement for small achievements
Remind them how far they’ve come
Celebrate every small win, whether that’s joining a club or managing a full school day

Progress isn’t always linear, and that’s okay. Every step forward matters.

6. Avoid Comparing Your Child to Others

Every learner adjusts at their own pace. For neurodiverse children, progress may look different, but it’s just as meaningful. Instead of judging or pushing, focus on building confidence and recognising their unique strengths.

Transition takes time. Let your child adapt at their own pace. With reassurance and consistency, things will settle.

When to Seek Extra Support

If your child is still finding it difficult after the first term, you may notice signs such as:

Frequent tears or anxiety before school
Struggling to get out of bed or refusing to go
Changes in behaviour, appetite or mood
Persistent unhappiness
Physical symptoms (headaches, stomach aches)
School refusal or increased absences

If these signs appear, reach out for help early. Talk to the form tutor, SENCO, or school counsellor. Early wellbeing support can prevent bigger challenges later on.

Our co-founder Shannon Dhillon is a trained Youth Mental Health First Aider, and she’s always happy to have a friendly chat with parents who are feeling unsure or overwhelmed. Sometimes, just talking things through can make a big difference.

Book a free 30-minute consultation with Shannon to discuss your child’s needs.

Looking After Yourself as a Parent

Watching your child struggle at school is difficult as a parent. Remember that this transition is tough for you too, so please remember to take care of your own wellbeing:

Make time to rest and recharge
Talk to other parents or support groups
Remind yourself that you’re doing your best
Seek professional support if you’re feeling overwhelmed

Resources for parents:

With patience and the right support, things do get easier.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does it take for a neurodiverse child to settle into secondary school?

Every child is different. Some adjust within a few weeks, while others may take a full term or longer. The key is consistent support, patience, and celebrating small wins. If struggles persist beyond the first term, seek additional support from school or specialist tutoring services.

What should I do if my child refuses to go to school?

School refusal is a sign of significant distress. Don’t force or punish — instead, talk to your child about what’s making school difficult. Contact the SENCO immediately and consider involving a mental health professional. Early intervention is crucial.

Can private tutoring help with the transition to secondary school?

Yes! Specialist SEND tutoring can provide academic support, confidence building, and a safe space to process the transition. Many of our students use tutoring to catch up on missed work, prepare for new topics, or simply have a supportive adult who understands their neurodiverse needs.

Should I tell my child’s teachers about their neurodiversity?

Absolutely. Informing teachers about your child’s autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or other learning differences helps them provide appropriate support and reasonable adjustments. Share what works at home and what strategies help your child succeed.

What are reasonable adjustments for neurodiverse students at secondary school?

Examples include:

Access to a quiet space during breaks
Extra time for assignments and exams
Visual timetables and written instructions
Sensory breaks throughout the day
Reduced sensory input (e.g., leaving class early to avoid crowded corridors)
Flexible seating arrangements

At Minariel Tutors, We See Neurodiversity as a Superpower

At Minariel Tutors, we specialise in helping neurodiverse students build confidence, resilience, and joy in learning. Our tutors help to make every child feel seen, supported, and empowered, especially during big changes like starting secondary school.

If your child is finding the transition challenging, early intervention is key. We can help set up regular tuition and strong support systems in Year 7 so your child feels confident and comfortable navigating their new school journey.

Our specialist services include:

1-to-1 tutoring tailored to neurodiverse learning styles
Confidence building and emotional support
Academic catch-up and exam preparation
Transition support for starting secondary school
Parent coaching and guidance

Book Your Free Consultation Today

If your neurodiverse child is struggling with the transition to secondary school, we’re here to help.

Book your free consultation and discover how our specialist tutors can help your child thrive this school year and beyond.

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How to Help Your Neurodiverse Child’s Transition to Secondary School