Girls with ADHD: Why They’re Still Being Overlooked in the Classroom

When I look back at my school years, I was the “quiet smart girl” — academically strong, well-behaved, never the one getting into trouble. And yet, inside, my mind was racing: anxious, overthinking, always organising myself to hide the chaos.

I colour-coded my notes, made endless lists, triple-checked deadlines, always trying to prove I wasn’t forgetting anything — because I knew I was forgetting things. I knew I was struggling to focus. But outwardly, I looked fine. And because I looked fine, no one asked deeper questions.

This is a story all too common among girls with ADHD. And it’s why so many of us go undiagnosed, unsupported, and exhausted. Schools, families and systems often expect ADHD to look like the stereotype: loud, hyperactive, disruptive. But for girls, it often doesn’t.

At Minariel Tutors, we understand that ADHD in girls looks different — and we’re here to help parents, teachers, and girls themselves recognise the signs and get the support they deserve.

How ADHD Presents Differently in Girls

Research shows that girls with ADHD are much more likely to display inattentive, internalised or masking behaviours rather than the classic hyperactivity or impulsivity we associate with boys.

Key Differences Include:

Daydreaming and Inattention

Seeming “spaced out” or distracted rather than fidgeting or shouting out
Missing instructions or losing track of conversations
Appearing to be listening but not processing information
Staring out the window or “zoning out” during lessons

Over-Compensation

Using high effort, organisation systems (like my colour-coding) to hide the struggle
Excessive list-making, planning, and checking
Staying up late to complete work that should take less time
Appearing “together” while internally chaotic

Emotional and Social Difficulties

Rather than purely behavioural ones: anxiety, perfectionism, hiding mistakes
Heightened sensitivity to criticism or rejection
Difficulty maintaining friendships or reading social cues
Emotional dysregulation (crying easily, mood swings)

Masking

Girls often learn early to “fit in”, suppress impulses, and appear compliant
This ironically means their ADHD is less likely to be recognised
Masking is exhausting and leads to burnout, anxiety, and low self-esteem
The effort to appear “normal” can be overwhelming

Because of this, girls with ADHD often “slip through the net.” They might not be disruptive — they might appear shy or daydreamy — so they go unnoticed.

Statistics:

Girls are diagnosed with ADHD 3-16 times less frequently than boys (depending on the study)
Girls are typically diagnosed 5 years later than boys — often not until adolescence or adulthood
70% of girls with ADHD have the inattentive subtype, compared to 30% of boys

For more information on ADHD in girls and women, visit ADHD UK or the ADHD Foundation.

Why the Classroom May Miss Them

There are several reasons why girls with ADHD are often overlooked:

Teacher Training and Awareness

Most training focuses on hyperactivity and external disruption, less on quiet inattentiveness
Teachers may not recognise inattentive ADHD symptoms as a neurodevelopmental condition
Lack of understanding about gender differences in ADHD presentation
Assumption that ADHD always involves disruptive behaviour

Stereotypes and Expectations

Girls are expected to behave quietly, help others, and conform socially
When a girl is quiet but struggling, it’s often seen as “shy” or “dreamy” rather than a sign of ADHD
Cultural expectations that girls should be organised, tidy, and compliant
Behaviour that would raise concerns in boys is dismissed in girls

High Achievement Masks Needs

If a girl performs well in tests or keeps up with homework — even through immense effort — her underlying struggles may be missed
Academic success is seen as evidence that “nothing is wrong”
The cost of that success (anxiety, exhaustion, burnout) goes unnoticed
Grades don’t reflect the hours of extra effort required

Emotional Regulation and Co-Occurring Needs

Girls often experience anxiety, low self-esteem or perfectionism alongside ADHD
These can overshadow the ADHD itself in assessments
Depression, eating disorders, and self-harm are more common in undiagnosed ADHD girls
Mental health symptoms are treated without addressing underlying ADHD

For guidance on recognising ADHD in girls, visit the National Autistic Society (which also covers neurodiversity broadly) or Young Minds.

My Own Experience: The Hidden Struggle

My academic success never felt like victory — it felt like survival. Colour-coded folders, perfect planners, staying up late to make up for lost focus in class. I wasn’t distracted loudly — I was silently panicking: worried I hadn’t written something down, that I’d forget, that I wouldn’t catch on. I wasn’t sent out — but I was exhausted.

What it felt like:

Constantly worrying I’d missed something important
Re-reading instructions multiple times to be sure
Spending twice as long on homework as my peers
Feeling like I was “faking it” and would be found out
Exhaustion from maintaining the appearance of being “together”

Because I wasn’t disruptive, I wasn’t flagged. Because my grades ticked along, I wasn’t questioned. And because I hid the struggle, no one saw the cost.

Later I realised: much of that effort was my brain working overtime so I wouldn’t look like I was struggling. I believe many girls do the same.

The cost of undiagnosed ADHD in girls:

Chronic anxiety and perfectionism
Low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy
Burnout in adolescence or early adulthood
Difficulty understanding why “normal” things feel so hard
Late diagnosis (often not until 20s, 30s, or later)

What Parents and Schools Can Do to Support Girls with ADHD

Recognising and supporting girls with ADHD means looking beyond stereotypical behaviour. Here are some practical steps:

Look for Hidden Signs

Repeated lateness (time blindness)
Unfinished homework despite good intentions
Messiness or disorganisation at home (even if tidy at school)
Perfectionism and anxiety about mistakes
Emotional sensitivity and mood swings
Exhaustion after school (masking burnout)
Difficulty making or keeping friends

Ask the Girl Herself

“What feels hard? What helps?”
She may be masking far more than she shows
Create a safe space for honest conversation
Validate her experiences without judgment
Listen to her descriptions of how her brain works

Support Organisation and Executive Function

Planning tools, visual checklists, and colour-coded systems can help
But remember: these are coping mechanisms, not cures
Teach executive function skills explicitly
Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps
Use timers, reminders, and visual schedules

Build Emotional Resilience

Girls often carry guilt or shame about “not being as good as they should”
Validate effort, not just outcomes
Celebrate progress and problem-solving
Teach emotional regulation strategies
Normalise asking for help

Recognise the Cost of Masking

A compliant student may be burning out from holding it together
Offer rest, flexibility, and understanding
Create opportunities for unmasking in safe environments
Acknowledge the effort it takes to appear “fine”

Collaborate with Teachers

Ensure schools recognise that being quiet isn’t the same as coping
Share information about ADHD in girls with teachers
Request reasonable adjustments (extra time, movement breaks, quiet spaces)
Regular check-ins to monitor wellbeing, not just grades

Push for Assessment or Support Early

Particularly when anxiety or under-the-surface distress is evident
Don’t wait for academic failure to seek help
Request ADHD assessment through GP or school SENCO
Consider private specialist tutoring for immediate support

For support with ADHD assessment and diagnosis, visit ADHD UK or Psychiatry UK.

The Empowerment Path: From Over-Compensation to Thriving

Recognition isn’t just about diagnosis — it’s about empowerment. For girls who mask, the goal isn’t simply to “catch up” but to understand themselves. To embrace how their brain works and learn how to thrive, not just survive.

What empowerment looks like:

Self-awareness: Understanding your ADHD brain and how it works
Self-compassion: Letting go of shame and perfectionism
Self-advocacy: Asking for what you need without guilt
Strength-based thinking: Celebrating ADHD strengths (creativity, hyperfocus, resilience)
Sustainable strategies: Finding systems that work for you, not against you

At Minariel Tutors, we believe being different isn’t a flaw. Colour-coding your notes? That’s creativity. Double-checking your planner? That’s resilience. The aim is to help every neurodivergent learner — especially girls — find self-trust and confidence, not perfectionism.

You don’t need to look like the stereotype to have ADHD. If you’ve been the quiet, high-achieving girl who hides her struggles behind organisation and effort — you’re seen, and you’re not alone.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know if my daughter has ADHD?

Signs of ADHD in girls include:

Daydreaming or appearing “spaced out”
Difficulty focusing on tasks or conversations
Forgetfulness and losing things
Disorganisation (even if hidden)
Anxiety, perfectionism, or emotional sensitivity
Exhaustion from trying to “keep up”
Difficulty making or maintaining friendships

If you notice these patterns, speak to your GP or school SENCO about an ADHD assessment.

Why are girls with ADHD diagnosed later than boys?

Girls are diagnosed later because:

They’re more likely to have inattentive ADHD (less obvious than hyperactivity)
They mask their symptoms to fit in
Teachers and parents expect girls to be quiet and compliant
Academic success hides underlying struggles
Anxiety and emotional symptoms overshadow ADHD

Can high-achieving girls have ADHD?

Absolutely. Many girls with ADHD are high-achievers who work twice as hard to maintain grades. Their success comes at a cost: anxiety, exhaustion, and burnout. Academic performance doesn’t rule out ADHD.

What is masking in ADHD?

Masking is when someone with ADHD hides their symptoms to appear “normal.” Girls often mask by:

Suppressing impulses
Over-organising to compensate
Copying peers to fit in
Hiding mistakes or struggles

Masking is exhausting and leads to burnout, anxiety, and low self-esteem.

How can I support my daughter with ADHD?

Support strategies:

Validate her experiences and feelings
Help with organisation (visual schedules, checklists, timers)
Teach emotional regulation skills
Advocate for school adjustments
Seek specialist ADHD tutoring for tailored support
Encourage self-compassion and strength-based thinking

Can private tutoring help girls with ADHD?

Yes!Specialist ADHD tutoring provides:

1-to-1 support in a calm environment
Teaching tailored to ADHD learning styles
Executive function coaching
Confidence building and emotional support
Understanding from tutors who “get it”

If This Resonates with You or Your Child, We’d Love to Help

At Minariel Tutors, we support neurodivergent learners — including girls and young women with ADHD — through patient, tailored tutoring that celebrates strengths and builds confidence.

Our ADHD tutoring for girls includes:

1-to-1 specialist support tailored to inattentive ADHD
Executive function coaching (organisation, planning, time management)
Emotional regulation strategies and confidence building
Strength-based teaching that celebrates creativity and resilience
Understanding from tutors who have lived experience of ADHD

Both our co-founders have ADHD — we understand the hidden struggles because we’ve lived them.

Book Your Free Consultation Today

Let’s discuss how we can support your daughter’s ADHD journey.

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Email:minarieltutors@gmail.com

Girls with ADHD: Why They’re Still Being Overlooked in the Classroom